443 Espanola Way, Miami Beach, FL | Powered by Postlets

443 Espanola Way, Miami Beach, FL | Powered by Postlets

Tonite's Insomnia

The inability to tolerate uncertainty, thats a key. Why? because equals Anxiety and Worrying .. Yes, I can't stand unpredictability, this is really funny cause I am writing a blog post when at the same time I'm reading another one .. Learning and transmitting it at the same time. "You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion." Thanks for the tip ..

Ok so basically I worry to f#$% much haha .. What I worry about? future, money, love, creating a family, friends etc ..

Apart from being my 30's life crisis must be that I'm also going through a LOT of big changes in my life. Changes at work, love, health and lifestyle .. I'm a very strong woman but I have the right to feel "uncertain" sometimes don't you think? Ok I'll try to be less analytical .. it just drives me crazy !

Good Night, I'll try to sleep again..

MRI thoughts

First I lay down, is cold, I'm half naked. They put both of my knees on some holders. Plugs on my ears for the noise. Then it starts, really weird noise going on, I'm feeling a weird energy, I was told I can't move because then we will have to take the scans again.

So.. because I was told not to move, of course it made the time worst, I was just worried not to move at all.

I decided on my mind to start saying the "Our Father" and " Hail Mary" prayers, then talking to myself: "now what should I do? my hands are getting numb, can I move them? fuck this shit ! .. my mom told me I have to learn to be patient, ok lets be patient..."

..."Oh God I'm in such bad position my lower back does not touch the ground weird ... Ok ok Rosario think in something else, I feel like I'm on Grey's Anatomy ! I wished the one doing my MRI was Mark Sloan, he is so hot ! "

..."Those squares on the ceiling need to be installed properly, I mean they are ok just need to be perfect.. ok whatever. Patience? my ASS mom ! ... please stop ! please stop ! Those magnets are making me feel weird, it kind of hurts inside my belly, maybe that's why they asked if there was any chance of being pregnant, of course I am not ! .. ok ... last one please .. the blood of my hands is falling down and getting numb ! oh no ! my left foot is also sleeping..."

"Doctor, can I put my hands down?" doctor says "Its over"

Thank God !

New York I love You

Robin Wright ..

You know,
this is what I've always
liked about New York--


These little moments
on the sidewalk, smoking,


thinking about your life.


Makes you appreciate
the city better.


You can watch the buildings.
You can feel the air
and look at the people.


Sometimes meet somebody
you feel like you can talk to.


You can talk about what?


Things you can say
to a stranger.


You know, when there's
no past, there's no guilt.


Have you ever made love
to a perfect stranger?


Now you're teasing me.


I believe I am.


Well, I mean...


No, not exactly
a perfect stranger,


if you mean someone
I wouldn't know at all.


It's sad.


It's sad? Why?


Because there's almost
nothing more exciting


than fucking somebody
you don't know.


Right?


You don't know
their name,


barely saw
their face.


Don't.


Don't tell me your name.


You know what?
As soon as I finish
this cigarette,


I have to walk back
into that restaurant


and sit down again
in front of my husband.


And?


And he won't look at me.


And he won't notice
I'm not wearing a bra
under my dress.


No bra?


No panties, either.


Oh.


No underwear?


Not today.


I feel sad for this
poor, lonely husband


who can't see his wife's
hidden talents.


Don't you think he's like
every man, though?


He's typically
blind and bored by
his very own wife,


ready to fantasize about
the first unknown woman


he hasn't fucked yet.


Am I bothering you?


Not at all.


Yeah. And you say that because
now I've turned you on, right?


You want
to take me to bed.


Do you want
to take me to bed?


Yeah, I probably do.


Aw, come on. All right,
why are you telling me
all of this?


Because tonight
I want things
to change.


Chain smoking's
a bad thing.


Who knows?
Maybe we'll meet again.


Thank you.


Enjoy your meal.


I love you.

I love you, too.

Check this movie part video !! 

Ready, set, GO !

1.- Set a Goal (Be specific: what, when, where)

Short Term Goal

To create in the month of January of 2011 a Custom Mural Painting Company in Miami Beach, FL. The mural paintings will be based in nature and all kinds of trees.

Long Term

To leave my current job in the next 6 months, to have a successful company that allows me to be free and travel the world without having a boss telling me what to do.

2.- Make a Plan (How)

• I am going to finish my own living room mural painting, then I will have 3 models to show as samples of my product.
• Professional photo shooting of my paintings.
• Create a name for the company.
• Create a basic portfolio in a free blog.
• Design and print new business cards.
• Promote my company through online media and flyers.
• Make a mailing to some buildings in South Beach advertising the company.
• Start setting up a calendar to be organized with Nespresso schedule.

3.- Get to Work

Already working on it, don't u see???

4.- Stick to it

Let's see !!

5.- Reach Goal

:)

Just thinking..

I have a HUGE question in my mind, what the fuck am I doing with my life. Actually, I have lots of questions. I have to write them down in order to clarify my thoughts and organize the shit is going on inside my brain. By the way, this is the real Rosario talking.

Another question, why I haven't done something incredible or amazing with my life?

Every time I see a beautiful girl on the TV that has reached her dreams like modeling, singing, acting or jumping out of a plane NAKED, feels like I'm doing something wrong. I know what you all gonna say, you have also done pretty amazing things in your life and you should be grateful for what you accomplished and what you have because there are many people that would love to have done at least one third of what you've done. So, is it that I'm tough with myself? I really don't think so. I always thought I was going to be something big, something people will admire and look up to me and say "wow!" Rosario really is awesome. I think I haven't done anything cool for my life or for the world, I feel selfish and lazy but not doing it on purpose or conscious. Not sure what I'm missing, maybe someone to admire, to bump into a conversation that could make me change my world, to really motivate me and lift my ass up and do it.

Sometimes I would like God to talk to me and lift me from by ears and say: "Stand up and get your shit together. Life is short and I sent you to this earth because you are special and smart and can do whatever you want to do." Stop, not writing this to make you guys feel I am very special, etc etc.. is just how I feel towards my situation and what happened to me in life. But why not saying... "yes, I am special and should be doing something great!". I should be in future history books and shit haha ..

Now, don't get worried (if that's the case). Everybody has different personalities. As many as you know I'm a very analytical person, everything has to be precisely analyzed and concluded. Is just how I am. Human can be tweaked, can study, can learn from others, can be modified, but we cannot completely change, so .. everyday that I learn something, I try to apply it, but I cannot change my analytical thinking. Its funny because I went to Mexico a few weeks ago and my mom said I should have been a lawyer, that I always analyze and research deeply to prove I'm right..

Ok, after all this bullshit talking I am kinda released of my thoughts, tomorrow its gonna be a new day, cold by the way -weird for Miami- and I will keep my meditation.

I think an option to help my craziness might be going for a meditation retirement, just a weekend or so and be in complete silence; it must be pretty cool not to talk at all, to have no phones or internet and just disappear into my soul and thoughts. Of course I will make sure I have a pen and paper .. I might write a book in 3 days haha .

Dolce far niente

Dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing.

Today I've been basically doing nothing, went to work for a little bit, then came home, made a white hominy and vegetable soup and fell asleep. I did, nothing. I love doing nothing and is not mean that I'm lazy, is just I feel very comfortable in my home with only myself and my 2 cats.

I got this Italian phrase (dolce far niente) from watching the "Eat, Pray, Love" movie. I think it described exactly what I felt today.

In this movie the main character (Julia Roberts) is trying to find herself and the word that describes her the best, she is trying to find balance. I identified myself strongly with this character, I'm also trying to find balance, I'm trying to put my mind clear and think properly. I want to know if I'm doing the right thing or I'm walking on the right path.

I guess I am not because otherwise you will feel it deeply inside you.

I would totally go now on a trip to many countries I like to visit, Bali is actually on my top list. Unfortunately I can't leave at this moment but will do it soon :) ..

I want to find my word ..